Stranger Than Fiction
by EthanKiara
Summary: RENT-Inu Yasha. The RENT gang find themselves in feudal Japan. More cheesy romance stuff! Mark-Fluffy and Benny-The Man slash! Now with a sword fight!
1. Three Questions for Collins

Disclaimer: We own nothing, not RENT or affiliated characters (Mark, Joanne, Maureen, Roger, Mimi, Collins, Benny, Angel and The Man) or music lyrics. We do no own Inu-Yasha or characters (Kagome, Sesshomaru, Inu- Yasha, Sango, Koga, Kirara, Naraku, Jaken, Kikyo, and Shippo) or feudal Japan. We don't even own this computer, we're borrowing it. A/N: We would like to apologize for the following fic. One of us knows hardly anything about RENT the other knows just as little about Inu Yasha. This IS in fact an Inu/Rent cossover. No we're not stupid, we're crazy. This story is NOT meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy.  
  
Mark had recently acquired a job with a travel agency, which allowed him to decide his own hours, and often meant no more than a few-hour drive (yeah, he had enough money to buy an olive green 1984 Dodge Dart) to get to his location. He made quite a bit of money, and was able to write off his film as a business expense, well, not all of the film he ever used, just as much as he could get away with. After working there for six months he got his first over-seas assignment, he was off to Japan. He was allowed to take five friends, though he had no idea why. He had, of course decided to take his five closest: Roger, Mimi, Collins, Joanne, and Maureen. Benny, meanwhile, had a business trip in the same part of Osaka. He accidentally ordered an extra ticket. The Man had been following him around for lack of a better waste of time, and had gotten a passport for the same time in case such a screw up occurred.  
  
Meanwhile in Sengoku Jidai (feudal Japan), the evil hanyou (half- demon) Naraku was plotting yet another vile scheam to destroy Inu-Yasha and finally gain the power of the Shikon no Tama (Shikon Jewel). He was planning to exploit the power of the Do-kai Jikan youkai (time binder demons) to draw back a great evil from the future: Americans!  
  
Five hundred years latter Mark's camera had been practically surgically attached to him. "Mark, we understand you have a job to do and all, but you're gonna end up with more shots of my wife (A/N yes wife) than of Japan!"  
  
"Nonsense, Joanne and Collins are the main character of this film."  
  
"Don't you ever put that thing down? I mean you'd think the battery would run out eventually," Maureen asked. She generally would have been fine with Mark being a camera, but she wasn't the star of this one, plus He was getting shots of her Joanne. Little did she know, he was getting more shots of Collins who had no jealous lover to get in the way.  
  
"Nope, I've seven batteries, three extras on me at all times, and three charging in the hotel room." He said getting an excellent shot of a crowd sweeping up to the skyline, pure travel video gold.  
  
Collins wanting to change the subject commented, "Wow this place is so crowded, it makes New York look like a ghost town!" Looking around, everyone agreed. Just then, Maureen spotted Benny, who was being followed around by what was probably an assistant (though we know it was The Man) she ran up to him and all followed her wondering what was so important that she would run off unannounced.  
  
Unknown to our foolish American protagonist, at this moment 500 years ago during the Sengoku Jidai era the evil Naraku had just opened the wormhole to the future. The portal that, any minute now, would bring to him the most fearsome and destructive force in the world...8 bohemian Americans. scary music  
  
Suddenly the RENT gang was surrounded by a mass of stars and space and blue puffy mist as if they were flying through the galaxy it self. The Man decided he must have been on a bad trip, though he didn't remember taking anything. Benny was confused. Mark figured that Benny dreaming. To prove Mark's point, Collins kissed Benny. Benny liked it. Collins puked. Mark decided that it must be he himself dreaming. Maureen looked at the pretty stars, "Look Joanne, pretty stars!"  
  
"And blue puffy mist!" a rather out-of-character Joanne added. Roger and Mimi were off in their own world. They were used to stars and mist and not being able to see anyone else. They didn't even realize that anyone else saw the spectacular show.  
  
Naraku waited expectantly as the portal opened up in front of him. "And now..." he said in his low creepy voice, "I shall finally have an ally capable of rivaling the Inu-Yasha- tatchi (Team Inu-Yasha)."  
  
As if on cue our 8 'heroes' fell through the portal in a dog pile on the floor. "Ouch! Maureen that's my eye!" A skinny human said.  
  
"You don't need it." A blond female replied "You're only a mediocre film maker."  
  
"Mediocre! You think I'm that good?" The male asked skeptically.  
  
"Well, you did win that award thingy for 'Today 4 You: Proof Positive.'" The group got up and brushed themselves off, and Roger was overprotective of Mimi, as expected.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay, honey?"  
  
"Yes, for the last time, I was on the top of the pile. Are you okay, you somehow ended up on the bottom."  
  
"No, I'm fine, I actually had a nice soft Benny, and The Man to break my fall." Mimi smiled, she was fine as long as Roger was okay.  
  
Benny who actually was on the bottom, however, was sprawled on the ground, groaning in pain, The Man offered him something to "ease the pain," but not even Benny was that stupid.  
  
One everyone was off the floor and dusted off they noticed the tall, dark and creepy figure of a guy dressed as a baboon. "Look a monky man!" Maureen exclaimed exitedly. "Do you think he'll dance for us, pukei?" "Maureen dearest are you feeling okay?" A tall black woman asked the exitedly squeeling blond.  
  
The creepy monky man drew near them so's to speak. "Anatawa shokan suru watashi." He said.  
  
The human called Mark replyed: "What the fuck dose that mean?!"  
  
A tall black man with his hair shaved off came up to speak. "Suimasen." He began. "Watashi no namae wa Korinsu (Collins) desu." The RENT crew looked at Collins, complete and utter confusion apparent on their faces.  
  
"Three questions, for you, Collins" Roger said, "When did you learn Japanese? Why haven't you been using it this whole trip? And what did he just say?"  
  
"I learned Japanese in high school and college. I have been using it, you weren't paying attention, it's not my fault you constantly have your heads in phrase books. And he said he has 'summoned' us here."  
  
"Well ask him who he is." Roger ordered.  
  
"And if he could do a dance!" Maureen said exitedly.  
  
"Dare da, omairra?" Collins asked.  
  
"Gommen." The monky man said in that low creepy voice. "Atashi namai wa Naraku."  
  
"Well... Wha'd he say?" Roger asked.  
  
"He's speeking a slang dialect most often used in Animes. I think his name's Naraku."  
  
"And what about the dance?"  
  
"Odori anatawa?" Collins asked.  
  
The creepy feeling around the monkey man seemed to grow darker and creepier. "Iie" was all he said. Yet it was in such a way that suggested that if anyone asked him that again he would kill them.  
  
Collins decided to change the topic. "Watashitachi hitsuyo nani?"  
  
"Omaira Inu-yasha korosu!"  
  
"What did he say this time?" Mimi asked.  
  
"Apparently he wants us to kill someone named 'Yasha-Dog'"  
  
"Inu-Yasha: A Fudal Fairy Tale?" Mark asked excitedly. "I love that Manga!"  
  
Everyone looked at him with a look on their faces that clearly said: "WtF are you talking about?!"  
  
"It's a Japanese comic book. I used to read them al the time in college."  
  
"Is that why he's so nerdy?" Maureen asked her Pookie.  
  
"No he read it because he's a nerd. No one what causes nerdiness, scientists are still trying to figure that one out. The problem is their all nerds too." Joanne explained informatively.  
  
"Oh" everyone else but Mark responded, they all learned something knew.  
  
Now we authors are getting board and want to go for a walk. So we're going to end the chapter here. Ja ne. 


	2. We Just Think Your Camera's Cursed

Disclaimer: We do not own RENT, Inu-yasha, Zenki, Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy or affiliated characters. (Wow that was a boring disclaimer!)  
  
Ch: 2 More Random Confusion  
  
When we last left our "heroes" we had just learned that Mark had read the Inu-yasha manga in collage. Oh! And that they were supposed to kill Inu- yasha himself. But that's not really important.  
  
"Hey Collins!" Benny said. "Ask him what this Inyu Yasa guy did to earn him a death mark."  
  
"Anatawe dosute watashitachi Inu-yasha korosu?" Collins asked.  
  
The man dressed as a baboon looked exasperated for a moment as if he were tired of this conversation. (A/N: I'm tired of this conversation.) He motioned to someone behind him to come forward.  
  
Out of the shadows came a small girl with pail skin, white hair, wearing a white kimono. She so looked like a ghost! She stopped right in front of our "heroes" and held up a mirror. The mirror began to glow and 8 fish flopped out onto the ground.  
  
"What the f!" Mark exclaimed.  
  
"Wow!" Roger blurted out. He picked up a fish and stuck it in his ear. "I didn't know these things were real! They're Bable Fish!"  
  
"What the f!" Mark reiterated his earlier statement.  
  
Roger gathered the remaining fish and gave one to each person. Even The Man whom was too high off his own stash to care (or even notice). Once everyone had received a fish he said: "Stick it in your ear."  
  
"What the f!" No need to tell you who that was.  
  
All but Mark followed his instructions. It was only then that Naraku answered the last question.  
  
"Inu-yasha is a despicable half-demon. His list of crimes is ever lengthening. He has corrupted the soul of a pure and powerful priestess, attempted to steal the Shikon Jewel, had one of his followers destroy the jewel when he could not posses it, nearly killed his own brother, and destroyed an entire village of Demon Slayers just to get 3 jewel shards. He is a vile freak of nature that can not be allowed to live!" Naraku finished his speech.  
  
"Wow I can understand Mr. Monkey now!" Maureen clapped excitedly.  
  
"What profit is there in this for me?" Benny asked.  
  
"You get to go home if and when you complete your task." Benny was silenced by Naraku's response.  
  
The 8 future Americans conferred among themselves and after explaining to Mark (who still had his Bable Fish in his hand) decided it would be in there best interest to cooperate with Naraku and kill Inu-yasha.  
  
And with that our 8 protagonists set out on their long and tiresome journey. Their wills were set and nothing but death or a better scapegoat would break them.  
  
And so they traveled the land in silence dreaming of a home they may never see again. All except Mark, that is. Through a plot hole that had opened up in his brain, was humming the tune to the Inu-Yasha anime season one: "I Want to Change the World". He wondered how he came to know the song seeing as he'd only read the manga and never even seen the English episodes. (A/N: Evil, bad, painful American voise actors. Shudder)  
  
As they passed through village after village after village (which was really one village, they were going in circles) Mark began to film their surroundings.  
  
After growing tired of their repeated surroundings, they collectively decided, as group, (okay, The Man came up with the idea but no one wanted to admitted it and by five minutes later he had forgotten) to ask some Village People where they were going, seeing as the 70s pop group could not be found, they decided to ask some of the inhabitants of the village.  
  
They stopped an elderly man on a path and began asking him questions. "Wait!" Mark stopped them "I should get this on film so we can replay it if we forget what he says. Oh and guys, translate what he says to English so I can understand it." Maureen was really annoyed, why couldn't he put the fish in his ear? I mean it's not that odd, and everyone else seemed to be alright (well, not The Man, but he never seemed alright). Then an idea supplanted itself in Maureen's mind.  
  
Mark looked up in time enough to catch Maureen whispering to Joanne, and Joanne nodding. Just then, Maureen lunged at him knocking him over, and holding his arms firmly at his sides. Quickly, Joanne took the fish from Mark's hand and stuck it in his ear. Maureen, noticing that Mark didn't put up a fight she pinned him and assuming he actually enjoyed her weight on him quickly scrambled to her feet. "Much better, Cohen."  
  
Mark got his camera out and ready, as Collins, the most well versed in Japanese customs of the bunch, began asking questions. But, as soon as the camera pointed at the old man and began filming, he fell to ground. Mark immediately switched off his camera and everyone but The Man rushed over to help him. "He has no pulse!" Joanne exclaimed looking up at everyone.  
  
"Are you sure?" Mimi enquired. She was really just waiting for him to return from the dead as she had. Ever since her near-death experience, she'd had a hard time believing in death. Roger looked at his girlfriend, knowing exactly what she was thinking, and hoping she was right, but the old man's soul did not return.  
  
"He has it!" The Man said pointing at Mark "I saw this blue ball of light being ripped from the center of his body, and flowing into the camera." Everyone ignored his comment, everyone, that is, except Mark. He had seen it too, through his camera. He had no idea how it came about but he'd suddenly felt a surge of power flow into him, though when nobody else seemed to notice, he figured it was the fish playing tricks on his brain.  
  
After they were assured the man was dead, Collins left a note addressed to his family explaining how the old man had simply dropped dead. "WE"RE INNOCENT!" Benny added in English, though nobody could read it, he still felt better knowing no one would come after him.  
  
Even though no one believed The Man, everyone was still a little freaked out at how the old man had simply dropped dead the second the camera was on him. "Come on Mark, just don't film any more people." Roger pleaded.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Mark responded defensively "How could I have killed him? I was like fifteen feet away!"  
  
"We're not saying you killed him, hun," Mimi told him, "We just think, you're camera's cursed or something."  
  
"Fine I promise not to film any more people." Mark agreed, though he was wishing now that he's filmed The Man before saying that, either he'd have really funny footage of an evil man stoned out of his mind, or the man would be gone forever and out of their hair. "Wait," Mark thought to himself, "Did I just admit to myself that the camera killed that man?"  
  
"Yes" his conscience told him, which he automatically dismissed as another one of the fishes games.  
  
They continued to look for a person who might be able to tell them where to find Inu-Yasha. As they were searching Collins decided he must have lost it. On top of everything else that was happening, he was beginning to see Angel out of the corner of his eye, but when he'd look where he saw her, his gaze was always met with a tree, or woodland creature as it scampered away. Just then, out from behind a tree, popped our favorite dead transvestite. "Angel!" Collins exclaimed. He wasn't sure if his lover was really there, but if not, he welcomed the illusion.  
  
The man in the long pink Kimono with white cranes and a baby blue obi smiled "Oh Collins sweety, you've come back to me!" The two men embraced.  
  
They were all happy to see him (well, not Benny or The Man, necessarily, but that was another story), but had to wonder, were they dead? "As much as we're happy to see you," Roger interrupted everyone's thoughts, "But are we dead? And if so what happened to that old man?"  
  
"No silly, you're not dead," Angel answered, everyone who could breathe breathed a sigh of relief, "but now that I am no longer bound by that real body, I can travel time and space, but I can't go back to anytime and place where I actually lived except in dreams or out-of-body experiences." Not everyone understood what was said, but decided to accept the fact that Angel was back, at least for now.  
  
Collins held Angels hand, "You still feel like you have a body,"  
  
"Yeah, I haven't quite been able to figure out why, but hey, it gives me a chance to model the, uh, current fashion." He said motioning to his kimono.  
  
The Man –complietly oblivious to the reunion that had just happened- stepped between Collins and Angile. "Hey1 Do you know a guy named Inu- Yasha?" he asked unstedily.  
  
"Not that I know of know." He answered. "But there was this cuttie a few miles bach... I didn't catch his name but he may know ..." Angle caught Collins' glare "Did I say 'cuuie'? I meant this weird guy, terrible fashion sence, his boa clashed horribly with the rest of his ensemble. Plus I think he was married. He had a little girl with him and a short green thing. Oh and a 2 headed dragon."  
  
"Well lets fine this guy!" Joanne said.  
  
The nine Americans from the end of the melliniam set out to find the fasion challenged married man with a girl and a short green thing. Ho! And a two headed dragon. 


	3. Carry Me!

Disclaimer: Mark: Nope, you guessed it, they don't own RENT or affiliated characters. Do they own Inu Yasha?  
  
Sesshomaru: No, the vile humans own not Inu Yasha, nor me nor Sengoku Jidai, nor anything remotely related to me. But, do they own Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?  
  
Bable fish: No. Hey! I'm not supposed to talk! Oh well, only Mark can hear me. Do they own anything really?  
  
Ethan: Once upon a time I owned a shoelace, but Kiara stole it. I wonder if she still has it.  
  
Kiara: (defensively) No! We were five years old! Why would I keep it? It's not like I have some obsession with shoelaces, and have a big knot of assorted ones hidden in my closet!  
  
Ethan: Okay... this disclaimer is officially over.  
  
The RENT-tachi (group) had been traveling through the forest for 7 hours when they heard a shrill nasal voice shout "Get back here Rin!"  
  
No sooner had they heard the shout a small girl around the age of eight came tumbling through the bushes and slammed into Mimi.  
  
"Oh sorry Miss, I wasn't expecting you there."  
  
Just then, a small green toad-like creature walked up to the girl, "Don't run off like, Rin. If you continue this reckless behavior, Sesshomaru-sama will punish me."  
  
With that, Rin responded "Sorry Jaken-sama," with a cute little pout, and began to scamper off.  
  
"Hey! Kid! Get back here!" Roger shouted "No one bumps into my girlfriend..." Mimi looked away, a confused-looking Rin, began to walk back "...without me assuring that they're okay," he finished with a smile. When she came over and had assured Roger that she was alright, he began tousled up her hair "Aw, you're so cute!" Everyone was a little bewildered as to why Roger's paternal instincts suddenly began to kick in, but a lot strange things seemed to occur in feudal Japan. Mimi smiled at Roger.  
  
"Aw" she thought, "he wants to have kids. Too bad."  
  
As Roger stood there with the little girl, Rin, in his arms, a tall, ethereal creature appeared out of seemingly nowhere. He closed his hand around Roger's wrist and held it in a bone crushing grip. "Who are you?" the elflike creature said in deadly calm voice. "And what are you doing to my puppy?"  
  
Roger confusedly and ouchingly looked at the "elf" and innocently answers "Just playing."  
  
He was also going to ask what he meant by puppy when Maureen suddenly screamed like a crazy fan girl. "Ohmigosh!! It's Legolas!" she rushed forward and grabbed the man's hand and shook it violently. "I'm like your biggest fan! Can I have you autograph!? Can I have your address!? Can I have your underwear!?" But she quickly shut up after catching Joanne's glare at the underwear comment.  
  
Mark, who was watching the entire incident with a confused expression on his face, felt he must add to the confusion by spilling his brain through his mouth "Fluffy!" he screamed.  
  
All heads turned to Mark in even utterer confusion. Ignoring this he continued. "You're the Lord of the Western Lands of Kyushu! You're Inu- Yasha's older brother, you have a useless sword, an anger problem and really lame attacks like 'Toxic Flower Claw' and 'Whip of Light'."  
  
"He's Inu Yasha's brother? Mark, how do you know this?" Joanne inquired.  
  
"Yes, human," Sesshomaru enquired, "How do you know this?"  
  
"Well see, we're from the future, I read it in the history  
books." Mark lied, poorly.  
  
"From the future, like Inu Yasha's wench Kagome?" Mark nodded.  
  
"So, explain what's going on to us." Roger demanded.  
  
"Oh it's simple, really. See deep breath Inu-Yasha was sealed  
for 50 years by a priestess named Kikyo but was then released by Kagome, some chick from our time and now they're looking for the broken pieces of the Shikon jewel. Fluffy here is Inu's older half brother. His real name's Sesshomaru, he's a pure blood demon unlike Inu who's only half demon. Both Inu and Fluffy really want to kill each other. Hoping to exploit their hatred for each other the evil bad guy Naraku made a deal with Fluffy to kill Inu and if He succeeded, Naraku would give Fluffy a new arm to replace the one Inu had severed in their last battle. But Fluffy failed and now he wants to kill Naraku." He took another breath. "Come to think of it ... Hey Collins, didn't you say that the guy who sent us was called Naraku? I wonder if they're related..."  
  
"You were sent by Naraku?" Sesshomaru enquired.  
  
"Yes, is that bad?" Collins questioned.  
  
"Yeah, he's evil." Mark answered nonchalantly. Turning to Sesshomaru, he asked "So what are you doing?"  
  
"I'm on my way to kill Inu Yasha." He responded.  
  
"Well, we have no mission now. Can we come with you?" Mimi asked.  
  
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed, "No," he said coldly and turned to go. But he suddenly paused debating in his head, "Bigger tachi are more intimidating, are they not. I guess I could use them around. Plus, the vile creatures might provide me with comic relief." He turned around to meet Mimi's puppy dog expression. "Fine, you may come. Just, don't do anything stupid.  
  
"Too late for him," Benny thought about The Man. Benny found himself thinking about The Man a lot lately. Do we smell slash? "No you don't!" Benny tried to assure the authors, but we're not fooled, we know we do.  
  
They continued on for a little while until it began to grow dark. "Sesshomaru-sama, I'm tired," Rin said with another puppy dog expression. Sesshomaru decided it was time to stop, and ordered everyone to rest. They set up camp (Naraku gave the humans tents so they wouldn't die), and lit fires. Collins caught Angel up on what was happening, while Mark walked around camp, filming the scenery, but no people. Roger and Mimi watched Rin while Sesshomaru surveyed the surrounding land.  
  
A lost maiden from the nearest, yet still far off village saw the smoke and wandered up to camp. Mark spotted the beauty and decided to catch her on film. But as soon as the camera was on her, she collapsed. "Maybe the camera is cursed," Mark thought with an evil grin. Sesshomaru witnessed the whole ordeal.  
  
"Put down that contraption!" He said as he drew one of the swords a his waist.  
  
"Ooo! Tenseiga!" Mark said in awe.  
  
Sesshomaru lifted the sword high and brought it down on Mark's camera. Both the souls that had been trapped in the camera flew out upon contact with the magic sword. The camera then shattered into thousands of pieces, but reassembled itself a second later. Mark gawked at his now no longer cursed camera. "What'd you do?" he asked.  
  
The object you hold in front of your face all the time was possessed by a mononoke (evil spirit). I merely preformed and exorcism it with my Tenseiga." Sesshomaru paused and looked at Mark's face. He hadn't really seen him without the camera before, but now that he saw him without it he had to stop to admire the strong face with features that you'd never find in Japan in this period in history. That chiseled jaw line, those light pink li-  
  
"Cool!" Mark replied, looking up from the camera to Sesshomaru. "Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
Sesshomaru blinked then his eyes narrowed once again. "I'm the lord of the western lands I can look at whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want."  
  
"Okay, okay, just asking, didn't mean to offend. Well, um, thanks for fixing my camera." Mark brought the camera to his eye and began filming again. Was it his imagination or was Fluffy really sexy when viewed through the camera? His tall slender form, that long flowing silver hair, those golden eyes, his blue-  
  
"Get that thin out of face, human." Sesshomaru said trying to sound like his usual stern self but Mark noticed a softness in his voice.  
  
Mark smiled, "'Kay Fluffy." He put the camera down. "I guess I'll go to bed now. G'night."  
  
The next morning:  
  
Mark woke up with smile still on his face though he didn't know why. Sesshomaru was already up pacing around camp. When Mark found him he smiled more, and once again he wouldn't admit to himself why. After a little while everyone was up and camp was down. And they trudged on to find Inu Yasha.  
  
After a wile Rin grew tired, but just then a two headed dragon named Aun appeared and Rin climbed on his back, but Rin didn't want to be separated from her new friends, and motioned for Mimi and Roger to climb aboard behind her. "Yay, we get to ride a dragon!" Roger exclaimed.  
  
After another few hours, the skinny, weak Mark grew tired as well. "I'm not used to doing stuff all day," he stated tiredly, "my legs hurt." Suddenly Sesshomaru felt bad for the weakling, something he'd never felt before. Sesshomaru turned into his true demon form, a gigantic white dog with a blue moon crescent on the forehead and red stripes around the mouth. He signaled for Mark to climb onto his back.  
  
As they continued on, Maureen grew tired as well. "Joanne, I'm tired. Carry me!" she whined.  
  
Joanne gave her a "You must be kidding," look. Maureen continued whining, finally Sesshomaru couldn't take it anymore, and let her climb on board too. Mark was about to get off so as no to put too much strain on his Fluffy (wait his Fluffy? When did that happen?) but Fluffy growled.  
  
"Silly human," he thought "I'd never make my Marky walk. Wait my Marky? When did that happen?" Sesshomaru (Fluffy) was utterly confused. He had never given an affectionate nickname to a human before. He had never given an affectionate nickname period. What was it about this foreign time traveler that captivated him so? Fluffy was determined to find out.  
  
Authors' note: We promise there will be more romance next chapter. To our one reader/reviewer: WE LOVE YOU! Any comments/suggestions/criticisms/even flames are welocome! 


	4. Benny and The Man

Disclaimer: Mark: (reading cue cards) My colleagues, friends, and I were created by, and are owned by the estate of, Jonathan Larson...Wait! So, I'm not real!?!?!?!? Ahhhhhhh (runs to his Fluffy for comfort) Fluffy: (holding Mark) Turns out I'm not real either, I'm a character in a Manga/Anime called (angrily) Inu Yasha. I'm not even the star! Me and Rin and Jaken, and Inu Yasha all belong to some chick named Takahashi Rumiko. Maureen: (sadly) Legolas (sniff) doesn't belong to me (sniff). (Suddenly happy) But Joanne does (evil smile) Pookie, come here. Ethan: Tee hee. We real people claim this disclaimer over (before Kiara goes into too much detail with Maureen and Joanne).  
  
A/N: To The Fraulein, WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!! Didya know that you're our only reviewer? (The.Max.Black does not count, she's my (Ethan's) girlfriend and it took like a week to force her to read the fic even though she's a fan of both!) We love reviews, by the way! Please Review. Please. Oh, and if anyone has questions or comments, put them in a review, or e-mail us at ethankiarayahoo.com. If you leave a signed review or your e-mail we will gladly get back to you. Oh and because it's shorter, Sesshomaru shall now be referred to as Fluffy.  
  
They hadn't been traveling long (3 days) before Fluffy caught the scent of his idiot, half breed, slut (he has two girlfriends and one boyfriend) of a half brother. They decided that it would be a wise idea to stop flying and attack him! (authors fall over in fit of coughing, well Kiara does anyway).  
  
Inu Yasha and Kagome were "peacefully discussing" (screaming at the top of their lungs at each other) how Kagome was not a replacement for Kikiyo, when all of a sudden Fluffy shows up with a tachi made up of nine bohemian Americans from the future, Rin, and Jaken.  
  
"Sesshomaru!" Inu Yasha exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"No, the name's Benny,"  
  
Both chose to ignore this. "Killing you," he said nonchalantly, while filing his nails on Maureen's file.  
  
"Hey that's mine!" she squeaked grabbing it from him.  
  
Fluffy took out his Tokijin (his evil sword that he uses to kill things!) Inu took out Tesusaiga (the sword he uses to kill things).  
  
"Wait a minute," Angel intervened, "You guys are brothers, you should love each other!"  
  
"No," Fluffy corrected, "We're half brothers, so I should hate him."  
  
"No, you guys should at least half love each other." It was clear Angel wasn't giving up 'till he saw them hug. "Come on, I mean, from what Mark said, you both hate that Naraku guy,"  
  
"Yeah," Inu began listening.  
  
"So," Fluffy responded.  
  
"Well, maybe if you teamed up, you could defeat him!"  
  
"I guess," Inu said.  
  
"So, we have the same goal, it doesn't mean he's not a bumbling fool and a man-whore!" Fluffly spoke his mind.  
  
"Yeah, well he's an emotionless jerk!" Inu pointed at Fluffy.  
  
"Not if I can help it," Mark thought to himself with an evil grin. Roger gave him a confused look as too where the evil grin came from and where it was directed.  
  
"Good, good," Angel mediated, "Use words not swords to express your feelings," (A/N: get it swords is words with an "s" at the begging, tee hee.)  
  
Both brothers responded in perfect unison "FEELINGS!?"  
  
"Right, whatever, 'manly' men don't have feelings. Express your thoughts." He then added under his breath, "If you even have those!"  
  
"I guess it does make sense for us to team up," Kagome said.  
  
Inu Yasha looked at her dumfounded, "Who's side are you on?"  
  
"Hers," She answered motioning to Angel. Angel smiled.  
  
"Fine, I guess I'll agree to get along with him so we can kill Naraku,"  
  
"Yeah," Fluffy answered "I mean he should possess half of my skill and talent, right? He can't be that bad." In the interests of peace-keeping, Inu Yasha decided to take that as a compliment, but not before he pointed to Fluffy's stump of a left arm, reminding him who caused the injury.  
  
They agreed to stay away from each other as much as possible, so no fights broke out over petty arguments. Mark made it his priority to provide Fluffy with a constant alibi incase Inu-Yasha staged an attack. He liked the idea of never leaving Fluffy's side.  
  
Before he ran off, Kagome decided to introduce the rest of the Inu-tachi to the RENT-tachi.  
  
"This is Miroku. He's a monk," Kagome indicated a buhddist priest wearing long blue and purple robes with three earrings and a shot ponytail. The monk grasped Maureen's hand tightly. "Miss, I beg your pardon but I am captivated by your beauty. Please, will you bear my child?"  
  
Maureen gave Joanne a looked that said "Go ahead." Joanne slapped him. At the exact same time, he was slapped on the other side, by a woman wearing a pink kimono and green obi, squishing his face in a grotesque manner that was most unbecomming of an anime/manga character. "You only wish you had what it takes to get this!" Maureen said, "plus, you're a little too, uh, masculine for me." She added quietly.  
  
"Please excuse him." The woman in the pink kimono said. "I'm Sango by the way."  
  
"What kind of monk is he?" Joanne asked  
  
"His own kind," She replied.  
  
"Anyway... "Kagome said. "Moving down the line this is Kirara." She indicated a small cat with two tails and huge red eyes.  
  
"How cute!" Maureen exclaimed. She sat on the ground, grabbed the cat and squeezed it so tight her large eyes got even bigger.  
  
"And I'm Shippo!" a small child with red hair, pointed ears, and a short puffy tail popped up in front of Joanne.  
  
Now that Mark was free he and Fluffy went off for walk in the forest. They walked in silence for a while, Mark filming every detail as they went. After a while Mark took his camera down from his eye and took a look around. "You know, you look a lot better with that thing out of your face."  
  
"Really?" Mark blushed. They stopped walking and turned toward each other, but both stared directly at the ground.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I can actually... see your face like this." Fluffy stammered nervously. He wasn't used to being nervous, but then again, he wasn't used to being madly in love either. They both looked up. Not knowing what to say to this compliment, Mark stared deeply into Fluffy's eyes. Slowly the gap between them grew smaller, Mark closed his eyes and leaned in, closing the gap completely. As soon as their lips touched, Fluffy's arm moved around Mark's waist drawing him closer, and Mark's hands flew into Fluffy's hair. After a few moments, they pulled away for air. They looked deeply into each other's eyes, it was apparent on both men's faces, they were in love.  
  
(a/n: Wow! That's so cheesey. Not even Watase Yu would put that in her manga. And she wrote Fushigi Yuugi!)  
  
Just then they herd a twig snap. They looked over to see Benny and The Man in a tight embrace. And were they... kissing!?  
  
Eventually Benny and the Man broke apart. Benny caught Mark and Fluffy's stares. "Uh, um...It-it's not what it looks like!" he stammered.  
  
"Where you two...kissing?" Mark asked in disbelief, he never thought he'd see Benny kiss another man.  
  
"You got a problem with that?" A sober (for the first time in this fic!) The Man asked, like a true New Yorker.  
  
"No, no we weren't." The Man looked at Benny shocked and hurt, slapping him hard before he walked off.  
  
Mark and Fluffy glanced at each other before bursting out in laughter.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing it's just you're gay, and a homophobe at the same time!"  
  
"I'm neither!" Benny said sounding hurt, "Okay, so maybe I'm bi, but I'm not a homophobe. I mean, I, like you, lived with Collins for over a year with no problem.  
  
"Okay then," Fluffy finally spoke "You're just in denial."  
  
"Yes, I mean no."  
  
"Denial," Mark and Fluffy said in unison.  
  
"Hey! That's not fair!" But Benny backed down, he saw there was no winning this one. "Just, don't tell anyone."  
  
"Very well then, our lips are sealed" Fluffy responded.  
  
"Yeah, to each other." Mark thought to himself.  
  
"So, what are you two doing out here?"  
  
"Confessing our love for each other," Mark said passively. He was so nonchalant, that Benny figured he joking, so he was still clueless.  
  
"Well, I've got some apologizing to do, don't I" and with that Benny left. Fluffy and Mark decided to go back too, it was getting dark. Plus Fluffy needed to check on Rin, even though he knew she was being taken care of by Roger and Mimi, what if something happened that they couldn't protect against?  
  
When they got back Rin was fine. Maureen was still holding and petting Kirara, and Joanne was getting jealous, she wanted a turn o play with the kitty too! Angle and Collins were being treated like heroes (well, Angel was but he demanded that whatever special treatment he got, his Collins also had to receive).  
  
Benny and The Man were off in their own corner talking. "How could you say that? Are you ashamed of me?" The Man asked in hurt voice.  
  
"No, it's not that, it's just," Benny tried to answer, "I wasn't ready to go public about it." He then quickly added "Not because of you, but because I have a wife, you know, and liking guys, is just, well, I'm a little confused still."  
  
"Aw, poor Benny's confused so he has an excuse to break hearts!"  
  
"No, look I know what I said was wrong and I'm so- um I s-s-ss," He couldn't say it! Finally, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath "I'm sorry,"  
  
"That's all I wanted," The Man smiled. "You know, I've never felt this way about any person before." He had felt the same way about a few drugs, but this was somehow different.  
  
Benny smiled and a hopeful expression played across his face, "Really?"  
  
"Yeah, it's like I'm on a million different thing at once, but I know I'm not on anything!"  
  
"I feel the same way, I love you,"  
  
"I love you too!" 


	5. Tis But A Scratch

Disclaimer: So you get it by now, we don't own anything. What?  
You need to hear again? Fine. We don't own anything. Not even  
Hogwarts, A History. Or the death of Mercutio.  
  
A/N: Sorry about last chapter, Kiara loves putting in that slash stuff, but insists that I (Ethan) write it. I'm not any good at romantic stuff.  
  
Other Author's Note: My brother's an idiot.  
  
Both Authors' Note: Sorry this took soooo long, our lil' sis (yes, there's another one) was in the hospital with pneumonia, so we weren't much in the mood for writing humor. But she's out now, and she's fine.  
  
Chapter 5: 'Tis But A Scratch  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama!!!!" Rin's little voice rang through out the camp. "Where are you, Sesshomaru-sama?"  
  
Upon hearing the young child's cry Mimi rushed over. "Is something wrong, Rin?" she asked.  
  
"Rin can't find Sesshomaru-sama." The little girl answered in third person. She did that a lot apparently.  
  
"Why don't we look for him together?" Mimi offered.  
  
Rin took Mimi's hand and were about to go ask Inu-Yasha if he knew where his brother was when Roger came running up to ask if they had seen Mark. Apparently no one had seen ether of them since this morning when Mark went to go film some of the animals in the forest and Fluffy went with him (for protection).  
  
Roger was about to join Mimi and Rin in their search, but Aun came flying up interrupting his thoughts. Seeing Aun for some reason reminded Rin that she and roger had a sword fight to finish.  
  
"Roger-sama, sword fight!"  
  
"Oh yeah. Choose your weapon." Rin looked around the forest floor, and picked up a long stick. Roger did the same, and they began to "fight". Mimi looked at him and shook her head, he had already forgotten about Mark. She decided it was safe to go into the forest with Aun.  
  
Meanwhile, back at camp, Roger and Rin continued their "sword" fight. Roger was, at this point, missing and arm and a foot, and was hopping around like a madman, "You're really good at this!" He said smiling. Rin hadn't gone completely unscathed, she was missing a pinky.  
  
Suddenly, Rin jabbed Roger in the heart. "Yes!" he thought smilingly, though he hated that he'd been honestly beaten by such a young child, he finally had a use for the scene he'd practiced almost religiously when he was eight. "'Tis but a scratch but should you call upon me tomorrow you shall find me a grave man." With that, his body stiffened and he fell backward to the forest floor, holding the stick to his chest. Rin walked over to Roger and looked at him with a smile on her face.  
  
"I won!"  
  
"Best two out of three." And with that the "dead" Roger jumped up, handed Rin her sword and began to fight.  
  
Angel and Collins were plying with Shipo their newly adopted son/kisu-ne kit/fox demon kit. "Ooo, look, Collins! Blue fire!" Angel smiled at pretty flames.  
  
"I know, darling. And you should see what he does when Inu Yasha's around!" Collins answered "I almost feel bad for Inu. But I don't."  
  
Maureen and Joanne were in camp happily playing with Kirara. "Why can't, for once, my name come first? I mean I am the smarter one."  
  
"Yes, Pookie, but I'm the cuter one."  
  
"True. But it's not fair!" Fine. Joanne and Maureen were playing with Kirara. "Look Honeybear, she meows, she's so cute."  
  
"And she blinks." Maureen began crawling around blinking and meowing cutely in an attempt to steel Joanne's attention  
  
"Yes, she blinks and meows cutely. Just like you." Maureen smiled and crawled over to Joanne and began pawing Joanne.  
  
Just then Kirara tilted her head to the side, slightly. Both women looked at each and at the same time, almost screamed, "Cute!" Joanne picked up Kirara and set her down in her lap, using one hand to pet Kirara and the other to pet Maureen.  
  
Kirara ran off to chase a butterfly. "We're finally alone," Maureen said with an evil smile. Joanne returned he expression and the two began to kiss passionately. Their arms rapped tightly around each other, Maureen began to remove- (A/N: Kiara: Ethan, stop that! Ethan: Sorry. I don't get why we put so much slash in it, yet we can't have one scene with the pre-established lesbian relationship. Kiara: Because I said so, and I have the password to our account Ethan: Oh yeah.)  
  
Mark and Fluffy were off in the forest, content in each other's warm embrace. "Mark-chan," Fluffy asked, "Do you love me?"  
  
Mark leaned up, and gazing into Fluffy's golden orbs answered, "Yes." Fluffy leaned down to kiss Mark's neck. (A/N: This is where Kiara takes over 'cause Ethan refuses to write anymore!)  
  
Mark moaned as Fluffy bit his neck, his sharp fangs sinking deep into Marks tender human flesh. Blood flowed freely from the open wound. Mark's eye glazed over, he reached up to caress Fluffy's beautiful face. ""Tis but a scratch but should you call upon me tomorrow you shall find me a grave man. Ai shite'ru" (I love you.) He said and collapsed.  
  
Oh no! Thought Fluffy. I killed him... Humans are so weak. Perhaps it would be best to revive him. With that Fluffy drew Tenseiga, the healing sword.  
  
"Tenseiga..." He addressed the sword. "You've revived the dead before... now I beg you to do it again. I beseech thee: please save my Marki-chan!"  
  
That said, Fluffy lifted the healing sword and slashed through Mark's limp body. His eyes flew open. "WOW!" A newly living Mark exclaimed. "That was really COOL! Can we do it again!?" Fluffy was dumbstruck. Had his human actually enjoyed death? Oh well, that meant only that he need not worry if it were to happen again.... Fluffy held his human close, happy only to have him living again.  
  
As the two were holding each other once again, Mimi and Aun ran into Benny and The Man, who were, well, let's just say they were doing something Mimi had done a work many times before. Mimi's new job as a secretary, that is (you didn't think we meant the Cat Scratch Club, did you?), where they got the copy-machine has yet to be explained. "Have you to seen Mark or Sesshomaru, recently?" she asked them, oblivious to their current relationship.  
  
"Yeah, they're about fifty feet that way," Benny said and pointed, in the wrong dirction.  
  
"Okay, thanks," Mimi answered. Fortunately, she remembered how Benny's bad sense of direction was when they went out. It once took him seven hours to find his car in a parking lot. Mimi and Aun continued in the opposite direction that Benny indicated. She eventually came across the two, with their arms around each other, kissing.  
  
When she found Mark, she was surprised. She also found Fluffy. That, of course, was not what she was surprised about. She was surprised to find them with their arms around each other, in the middle of a very passionate kiss. She decided it was best to just back away. Unfortunately, when she did, a twig beneath her foot snapped. SNAP.  
  
Mark and Fluffy immediately ended the kiss, and turned to face her. Mark couldn't meet her eyes. He looked down and just stuttered, "You see, Fluffy and I uh- well- we, umm...we're, um..."  
  
Fluffy looked at his beloved. "Why can't he say it?" he thought, "Is he ashamed?" He decided that he must speak up, "We're in love," Mark blushed, and smiled.  
  
Mimi's mind reeled. "Sesshomaru and Mark? Did he call Sesshomaru 'Fluffy'?" she decided to speak up about her confusion unfortunately, her mouth did not ask the question her brain wanted it to, "Honestly, am I the only person who's bothered to read Hogwarts, A History?" She immediately covered her mouth, as her brain cursed it for adding to the confusion. Mark slowly explained everything to Mimi.  
  
After he finished he had to ask her "Why are you here, anyway?"  
  
"We've looking for you all day!" she said.  
  
Mark felt guilty, "You have?"  
  
"Yeah, Roger wanted to talk to you."  
  
"Why didn't he get me?"  
  
"Somebody had to watch Rin, and they had a sword-fight to finish. Why don't you two come back to camp with Aun and me?"  
  
"Do we have to?" Mark and Fluffy both gave her their perfect puppy-dog faces, unfortunately, they didn't work well on anyone but each other.  
  
"Well, I could go back to camp alone and tell Roger and Rin why you were gone." Both men immediately agreed to come back.  
  
When they got back to camp, Roger and Rin were happily making flower- wreaths. Mimi was a little worried at this. My Roger making flower-wreaths? She thought. He's such a good father...  
  
Rin ran up Mark and Fluffy and handed them matching flower wreaths. Mark blushed profusely, Fluffy smiled inwardly. Now I have two daddies! Yay! The child thought. Roger was thoroughly confused. Why didn't I get one? He didn't care that he already had three on his head and one on each arm, they didn't match! 


End file.
